End of Year Hug

Friday 31 December 2010

Even at this time of year the best things in life are free. 

The Yorkshire Pudding brought home a relic from his past - the most luxurious brown throw I have ever seen in my life, one side smooth like felt and the other a warm mass of fur.  




  Well, he calls it a throw but it could be anything from a huntsman's wall-hanging to a large rug.  No matter, spread across the bed it does the same as a giant bear hug, only without the imminent threat of death. 

What could be better to curl up underneath while watching The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe? (the BBC version, not the new movie rubbish).  In what more comfort could I drink my Christmas-blend coffee while immersing myself in the swashbuckling world of Isabel Allende's Zorro?

Even better when I wake up in the middle of the night, having rolled myself into a tight wee bundle inside the throw, and find The Pudding hugging Me to get to IT - double whammy of hugs for The Hodgepodge! 

Let's hope this continues in 2011........

Chipolatas and Chocolate Coins

Sunday 26 December 2010

Merry Christmas!!

I am guzzling down the chocolate coins I found in my stocking while looking forward to the best Christmas tradition of all - the re-heated Boxing Day feast of burnt chipolatas which my mum will serve up alongside left-over turkey and a pile of brussel sprouts.

Later Love Actually will be on TV, but I will have had some wine by then and will have trouble following the storyline.

For the first time in four years I am at home for Christmas.  The preceding years have been spent sipping cocktails by my swimming pool in Perth, enjoying a BBQ in Santiago and losing myself in the snowy mountains of Banff.

Less glamorous perhaps, but it is good to be home.

To Kill A Sex Life #1: The Babygrow

Wednesday 22 December 2010

I have an early Christmas present this year; a woman-sized babygrow complete with feet and wee flying monkeys.  The Yorkshire Pudding clearly was not considering the consequences when he bought it.

But it is goddam comfy. 

When I get in from work at 6pm I climb into my babygrow; when I'm watching something good on TV I climb into my babygrow; any time there is an excuse I climb into my babygrow.  I think it might be starting to smell.

The poor boy says I look cute, but that won't keep him warm when he is left on the outside and I am all wrapped up inside. 

At the start of the week I had a few drinks with a friend and, walking home with the alcohol bubbling inside me, I came up with an ultimate plan of seduction.  However, when I arrived home The Yorkshire Pudding had popped out to the shops and by the time he returned I was tucked up in bed with my all-in-one PJ's.  The plan was over. 

Once I get into this baby it aint coming off!

In fact, I would be as well wearing one of the oversized condom suits worn by Lesley Neilson and Pricilla Presley in Naked Gun.  Practice safe (non-existent) sex people - buy a babygrow!!

Car Crash Crushes: Part 1

Wednesday 15 December 2010

When I was young, a kid trying desperately to grow up, I had my first crush.  I remember him well; Chris Isaak of 'Wicked Game' fame.  


I was painfully prepubescent and did not talk to anyone about my crush, until one day the pressure in my chest became too much and I HAD to share it with – my mother.  Perhaps my choice in confidant was due to a lack of trust in my friends; a quiet knowledge that they would use my secret against me.  Perhaps I should have remembered that later in life.  

I took my mother aside one day and breathlessly admitted my crush, blood streaming to my face from the need to unburden myself, but not entirely sure how I would ever look her in the eyes again.  To her credit she did not laugh, but looked at me seriously and tried to treat me like the adult I would not be for at least another eight years, and then only by law.

She acted like a true professional and I felt a weight had been lifted.  My adult feelings had been approved, and really I should have stopped right there and walked away.  But I didn’t.  Oh no.  As my relief flooded out of me I just kept on talking.  

“ You see,” I said quietly, still fighting some embarrassment, “ I like him because he is not perfect.  I know he looks a bit odd but

'Snow' problem - yikes!!!'

Saturday 11 December 2010


Why is there so much negativity in Scotland?  Are we really so miserable that we cannot see all the wonderfulness around us?

Yes, I do see the irony in bitching about bitching, but SERIOUSLY people life is good!

So who cares of it's been snowing a bit this week?  I love being able to walk through Glasgow’s Kelvingrove Park at 5pm without fear - the usual winter darkness replaced by a wonderland of snow.  From the hordes of people sledging, and even snowboarding (show-offs) down the hill next to the duck pond to dogs having a right good frolic.

The only downside for me is when I catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye, a massive white shape leaning above me, a huge abominable snowman!!!!
Until I realise it is the Unknown Soldier atop the war memorial, blanketed in snow and wondering what the hell I'm freaking out about.

The Government and Council have totally buggered up their preparation for this kind of weather, but don't let them turn you against the snow people!
It is NOT that cold and the snow is NOT that bad. 
Their lack of planning alone is making you suffer and skid over streets of ice.  Look at Canada, Japan and any number of other countries as examples.  They deal with far worse conditions every year and their lives go on as usual.  From hitting the slopes in Canada to taking a steamy outdoor Onsen in Japan - they rather enjoy it!   Moreover, they get their act together with diggers and grit and even country roads remain open with minimal travel disruption!! No Way!!!

Normally at this time of year we would be stuck inside, hiding from the rain stoting against the pavement.  This year everything is crisp and fresh. 
What beats wrapping up warm and stepping into the snow with only your nose peeking out? 
Somewhere in the distance Christmas music is playing and there is a starry sky overhead.
It's a wonderful life : )


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